Reliving the Drama

And then I was back there again. I suddenly felt all nauseous as I revisited those horrible minutes after Richard's fall. But after the first shock had died my unease was replaced by annoyance over the terrible picture of me. I was at Oslo Horse Show and holding an issue of some new horsey magazine in my hands, and right there on page 51 I could see myself practically gasping for air in the middle of the course as it dawned on me that we'd probably lost Richie.

So that's what it feels like to have photographers follow you around then. To capture you in the middle of a break down. My hair is a mess from running down the course, but at least the sunglasses are hiding tears. I've been assured it is not that bad - and that it captures the drama... Whatever that means. I would have preferred to have looked good. I've been telling myself that no one reads that silly magazine anyway.

Richard is racing again tomorrow. My worry has grown again over the last few weeks as the rain has been pouring down. My biggest fear is that the ground will be really soft again like it was that dreadful day. Luckily we've had dry weather for the last few days and the forecast is good for tomorrow so fingers crossed it will dry up a bit more.

At least we have got the best jockey this time. Marcus is riding Richie again, which is a big relief. That way he is in the best possible hands. The only drawback with Marcus is that he has a history of not showing up. But to be quite honest, I wouldn't mind at all this time as we would have to withdraw then. At least that way there'll be no injuries. Just don't tell my dad I said that.

The scenes from that day are burnt into my mind - but I didn't realise what a mess I looked until I saw the press coverage...