Bad Locks and Cocky Keys

Not sure what my friends got up to this weekend, but the following just appeared on Facebook:

So in response I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.

If he is refering to what I think he is refering too then I should probably have been outraged on behalf of the female gender or something. But to tell the truth I can't stop laughing, and wishing I had been there...

Happy & Hairy

As expected I now have one very happy and hairy pony.

He is loving being back with the boys and especially playing with what he clearly considers to be his little yearling toys.

He can spend hours chewing on them - Richie would be so jealous!

Good times

September came and went and before I knew it my baby foal was broken in and I was riding him around.


It was the strangest feeling and it didn't really hit home until I took him back to the young horse place again. Coming off the trailer and going back in his old stable he just looked and acted so grown up.


When the yard owner asked me if I wanted her to keep a rug on so he stayed didn't go all fluffy and filthy I just shook my head.


- Nope, that way I'll be less tempted to come and get him again before the winter is over, I smiled. Because waiting until the spring is going to be really hard.

Growing Up

The Big Boys

The price to pay for working with the big boys is clearly wearing a big boy-sized photographer jacket that makes you look completely ridicilous.

The Europeans was an absolutely fantastic experience, working alongside the pros was slightly daunting and very educational.

But it also made me realize that I am just a complete amateur - in a silly looking jacket.

Me (on the right) with some of Europes finest equestrian photographers. To the right of me German rider Mathias Rath finishes his lap of honour on foot.

Summer Moved On

Summer is over and I have nearly been through all my unpublished blogposts. The ones remaining now are either so unfinished they need a lot more work or just total rubbish. Or, saying that I had a couple of the possibly too personal ones I have mentioned before lined up. But due to some unexpected developments recently I have decided to leave them there for now.

In my experience things can easily be misunderstood when taken out of context, and I also find that people who don't know me well don't always understand the spirit of the blog. Put in the words of a (fairly new) friend who somehow ended up knee deep in fools & horses: Wow, it's like an open diary or something...

Yeah, I suppose that's one way of putting it. And why I have decided to not go there right now.

But with everything happening at the moment I don't really need old posts - I need some time to dot down some of what is happening right now. And I assure you I am working on it...

The Fit Flop

When my best friend kept going on about these fabolous new flip flops she had bought that were suppose to make her fitter I laughed for about two hours straight.

When you add that she is possibly the most gullable person in the whole world I just assumed she had been ripped off by some clever salesperson.

But then it turns out to actually be a brand. Apparently it is footwear with a built in gym!

Yeah right - they won't be getting my money any day soon...

If it wasn't so utterly ridiculous I would probably feel a bit bad about not believing her...

Only the Germans

Would find it fitting to line up a range of local beers at a press conference for the World Championships for young dressage horses...

What, Me?

While on the subject of emotional retards I suppose I ought to point out that I possibly have at least one foot firmly planted in the category myself.

Observant readers of this blog will of course have figured this out long time ago. But I do take some comfort in the fact that they do say that if you suspect you are going crazy - you are most likely not.

So I'm clinging onto that for now...

English Emotional Retards

November 2008

Now, I do remember why I didn't post this link. You see, I seem to know quite a few people who would fit nicely into the category of what has been referred to as a whole generation of English emotional retards... And I didn't want to offend them.

So why do I post it now? Well, we're all approaching 30 rather rapidly so I'm think I'm just doing them a favour by pointing it out. Besides research shows that dealing with their ... well, emotional retardedness (is that even a word?) could give them a longer life.
That is if they are even read this. Chances are they don't anyway.

PS: I don't think you really have to be English for it to apply...

Getting Older

April 2009

You know something has happened when after spending 20 minutes with the beauty product lady in the tax free shop you hear yourself saying:

"But what about this one, is this "preventative" as well?"

So I am now the slightly reluctant owner of a so-called preventative moisturizer. And yes, I do realize that it's just a nicer name for anti-wrinkle cream. The really worrying thing is that it feels like it's actually working...

Under Attack

April 2009

I can't say I saw it coming, but then I can't say I was all that suprised either.

A week ago, just over a month after I had my last working day there, the Embassy was attacked and trashed completely.

I was in Denmark at the time, but thanks to the particularly interactive vandals I could watch my old desk and computer get smashed with an axe on my laptop in the safety of Thomas' kitchen - only an hour after it happened.

I suppose I could say a lot about the Tamil diasphora in Norway, about how they have gone from appearing like super immigrants to revealing a much more hardline approach to their grievances. Or how they don't even try to conceal their support for the LTTE anymore. But I think I'll stick to just saying this: Once again I am surprised by the logic behind blaming Norway for what is going on. For blaming us for not doing more.

Talking sense into both parties has been tried numerous times with little effect. Our mandate ends right there.

Mothers

January 2008

For some reason it worked like this: We argued, she baked something, asked me if I wanted some and when I did she was happy again. Just like that.

I would never understand it, but could just hope I would be equally overbearing with my own children some day.

The Perfect Guy

October 2008

Why do all horsey girls secretly dream of shacking up with a professional rider?

If you'd asked me to make a list of what qualities I look for in a man it would go something like this: 1) Trustworthy 2) Educated 3) GSOH - or my kind of humour. (Same thing really...)

And I think it is safe to say that most professional riders I know of would be nowhere near fulfilling the first two - and the ones that are excruciatingly funny are gay anyway. So in other words my intellect tells me I should not be looking for a rider. And I don't. I really don't expect to find my man anywhere near these kinds of arenas. But then there was this one guy the other weekend...

I first noticed him because he was tall, rather good looking and stood a bit too close to me in the warm up arena. Not good looking in a stunner kind of way, but he had good eyes. And I'm all about the eyes. I think it is because most of the time the easiest way to tell whether you can trust a guy is the look he has in his eyes - or so my theory goes anyway.

So there I was eyeing up a guy at a horse show because he had special eyes. And then when he got out of my personal space and onto his horse he was a bloody good rider too. I suppose you'd expect as much of someone competing at that level, but it is not always the case. So I sat there and watched him warm up discovering that he was German, very tidy over a fence and probably in his early thirties. Perfect.

My first horsey crush was on a guy whose artist name was Lorenzo. Yes, I know, that is not the kind of thing you want to be admitting to, but in my defence I was about twelve and he did this thing where he stood on two horses and jumped fences. It was pretty damn cool, and besides he was drop dead gorgeous in that French kind of way. So after my dad arranged for me to meet him, shake his hand and get his autograph after the show he was my man.

But fortunately I've come a long way since then, and I certainly don't hold a fascination for men with artist names any more. Besides working with horses for years teaches you a few things. Like that there aren't a lot of guys like that around, and that the ones that have that impressive wow-factor have an equally impressive number of girls chasing after them. So you learn to ignore it and in my case start looking for a guy who'll at least tolerate the horsey lifestyle even if he doesn't actively engage in it himself.

Still, back at the collecting ring, I suddenly found myself indulging in the kind of fantasy where I was the German rider's supportive - and of course slightly glamorous - girlfriend who went with him to shows or spent my days schooling his nice horses. But I decided it was okay, after all I've not exactly had an exciting year when it comes down to the opposite sex, so I should be allowed slipping up for once.

So when I bumped into some old friends who were all up for a night of mayhem at the riders' pub later on I quickly ditched my initial plan of going home after the last class. And the first person I spotted as my eyes did a search of the room was the smiling blonde German.

I have only ever really chattet up one guy in my life, which was quite successful - for a while anyway, so I decided this was not the time to mess with my statistics. Besides being in that particular pub in a sober state was a challenge in itself. So I stuck to glancing in his direction every now and again noticed him doing the same thing back. Then just before midnight he finished his drink and left.

In other words my hunch was right - this was a serious guy. More interested in tomorrow's classes, and the girlfriend he turned out to have at home, than potential Norwegian groupies. He must be about the only one out of that lot...

And then it turns out - he runs his own company too. The man has a flipping business degree. Yes, I did google him - and I feel no shame, that's what google is for!

But luckily for me the wisdom of old age has now taught me that there is one backside to perfect things, they are not for real - and certainly not for me. Besides as he brushed passed me on his way to walk the course the next day all I could think was that he smelt just like someone I used to know. Some far from perfect guy that for some unknown reason beat all those horsey guys hands down any day.

So the hunt continues for another one like that.

Update: Only a few months later the perfect guy got in real trouble for allegedly using rather dodgy training methods. Not so perfect after all maybe...

You've Been Chartered

September 2008

If you don't already catch on when the middle aged couple next to you have a beer, a bottle of wine and cognac (!) with their breakfast at 06.17, you will definitely know you are on a charter plane when the stewardess walks down the aisle not saying "Coffee, Tea? Coffee, Tea?" but "Sun Block, Whisky? Sun Block, Whisky?"

That was when I decided to inflate the incredibly tacky looking pillow thing and just go to sleep - earplugs and all.

I Couldn't Agree More

July 2008

Let me introduce you to my new favorite columnist. She might be a bit over the top at times, but she is also extremely funny. I particularly liked this bit of her latest comment:

"... if you are skinny and have big berthas you should not be wittering on about M&S bra prices, but on your knees thanking God that you are blessed. Blessed, do you hear?"

So if you are annoyed by how fat people are not charged more for their clothes too, or just happen to have small breasts, you really should read the whole piece.

Reruns

The summer is of course the time for reruns on most TV channels. TV2 over here has been showing a very welcomed repetition of a TV-series I used to absolutely love back in the days when I was very innocent and hopeful and expecting life to hand me a man just like Victor's partner in Pacific Blue.

Unfortunately I can't really remember his name, because I haven't had time to actually watch it this year and the only reason I remember Victor's is that he tragically died in a very dramatic shooting accident on the pier in Santa Monica. Needless to say my sister and I both cried - a lot.

But this summer has been all about work and more work, and there has been no time for the good looking bicycle cops in their very tight shorts. Another result of this is that there hasn't been much time for the blog either. I really wish I had time to come up with lots of groundbreaking new stuff - I have some ideas that are not half bad. But right now I just never seem to find time to sit down and produce anything other than the totally necessary stuff.

So, I've decided to do something a bit different to keep up the frequency. I'm not going to resort to reruns though, as sadly I don't think anything I have written on here is memorable enough to deserve a second posting. But what I do have is a multitude of unpublished blogposts that for various reasons have not made it onto the world wide web. Some because they were rubbish, some because I considered them a bit too offensive or they were just far too personal. Others because I didn't have time or just forgot about them alltogether.

But after spending a quiet moment going through some of my old stuff today I have decided to give some of them a second chance to avoid the blog going completely cold. And then it is up to whoever reads it to decide whether it is offensive, too personal or just plain rubbish.

I think I'll start with a funny link that I just never got around to posting.

No Hope in Hell

It was somewhat reassuring to read that I am not the only person out there about to give up...

Surely Not...

The Times has made a list of 101 uses for a woman. I'm not sure I can relate to all of them, for a start I am most likely not capable of salvaging the dinner you’ve totally messed up.

But I think I can be fairly useful for the following two:

28. Saving Hugh Grant and Colin Firth from being unemployed.
89. Covering beds in enough pillows to suffocate an entire old people’s home.

You may also want to check out their list of 101 uses for a man.

Midsummer

Such a beautiful night. It's still 18 degrees and I'm sat outside with a glass of wine amazed by how light it is. Shame the sun turns today. The summer season always passes too quickly.

Must remember to take some time to enjoy it!

Writing and Learning

When Nereide was here the other weekend I voluntered to write for her. As always it was both entertaining and educational.

I passed my judging exam a few months back, but was not all that impressed with the training we got here. It is so complex it would be good to get some more input before being thrown out there.

Which was why I jumped at the chance to spend some time with Nereide in the judges box. When I was working for her back in the day she was always extremely good at asking questions and giving mini-lectures on everything from fitting double bridles to how half pass should look.

She was also always very interested in my opinion on her performance in a test or when she was schooling. Now that gets you thinking - and looking properly.

So I am very grateful for everything she has taught me so far. And besides she is as always a great laugh to have around!

So Much Fun...

Sneaking up on the dogs and then chasing them is excellent fun every time...

Damn It!

And then it was over for this year. Just like that.

Richie has done a tendon. He was scanned on Wednesday and it showed some damage to the superficial digital flexor tendon.

Best case scenario he'll be able to start careful retraining in the autumn and be ready again for next season. Worst case he won't be able to race again.

The only upside to the whole ordeal is that he does not appear to be in much pain. He has hardly been lame and is his usual chirpy self.

I have arranged for him to stay at the place where I keep the young one over the summer. Then if he is ready I'll take him with me to the new place in September and begin the long careful fitness regime that will be needed if he is ever to come back.

Sometimes racing just sucks.

You Scratch My Back...

... and I'll try to take a chunk out of yours.

What started out as a nice little cuddling session with the boys turned into a bit of a rough and tumble.

Starting to get a bit heavy with the teeth...

And before I knew it I was nearly being lifted up in the air...



Luckily, or so he thought, Kris was there to get photographic evidence of the mischief

But fortunately all it took was a bit of a telling off and suddenly we were on our best behavoiur again...



And that's the picture we'll use...

What a Week

After a disappointing first exam where I for some reason couldn't remember a thing - I really started to worry when it took me several minutes to work out what date it was - the micro exam went quite well.

My memory has worried me a bit recently, surely it is not normal to not remember what you did yesterday or read two minutes ago. The really annoying thing was that I had prepared so much for this exam and been so focused. So I was pretty down on Monday night after producing only a fraction of what I actually knew.

But then things were sort of put into perspective when I collapsed on Tuesday morning.

Spending hours and hours in the emergency room waiting for them to try and figure out what the heck was wrong with me somewhat ruined the run up to the micro exam, but got me thinking that there are much worse things in life than underperforming on an exam.

Luckily they didn't find anything seriously wrong with me, and after seeing a specialist on Wednesday I was sent home reassured that as far as they could see I would live to see quite a few more exams.

So this left me with just over 24 hours to prepare for the micro. Not ideal, but somewhat I managed to cram in the main models this time, and reproduce it on Friday.

As expected we got the neoclassical farm household model, and after spending Thursday rewriting it again and again on this whiteboard it somewhat stuck.

Another Season Ahead

Spring is definitely here, the new hedges have arrived and Richie is ready for some action.

He came third in a flat race the other week and is racing again next Thursday. First time out on grass 2000 m on the flat.

On Wednesday Rene schooled him over the new fake hedges for the first time and apparently he really took a pull and jumped well. I couldn't be there as was preparing for my last exam this spring, but there's picture evidence...



The Easyfix hedges are meant to be maintenance free and apparently they don't flip over so we'll avoid situations like this. But the brush is quite short so the danger is that they'll hit it if they're not careful. And then this could happen.

Not sure whether I am looking forward to the jump season or not really...

Fridge Fashion

The coolest fridge in town lives with my cousin up town. It turns out he is rather into his design stuff... Who would have thought?!?

That's My Girls

Just have to say that I was actually quite impressed with the girls today. Some of them improved their dressage by nearly 8 percent from two weeks ago, and nearly all improved their score.

Admittedly it was pretty bad last time, but I felt kind of proud seeing some of them using the tips and hints I gave them on Friday and clocking up the points.

It was particularly nice that this one girl I fought for at the selection was placed today. She was a bit anonymous and quite stiff in her shoulders, but for some reason I felt she would be a good one to work with.

Just three weeks into the program she is showing some real improvement already, and it felt really good to see today that my gut feeling was right.

Some of the others still worry me a bit, but all in all they are a really nice group. I suppose some of them just need a bit more time.

Besides all but two got around the SJ yesterday, which was a bit of an achievement after half the group was eliminated after three refusals last time!

One Week to Go

With just over one week until my first exam I find that panic is starting to stir under the surface.


I have absolutely no idea how I am going to make my brain remember it all. Think I might have a little look in my sports psychology book right now, I think it has a chapter on how to perform under pressure.


I think what is making me extra tense is that this exam is on the stuff that I really like, so hence I really want to do well.


I went to a breakfast meeting the other week where the Foreign Minister was speaking and listening to him I suddenly realised just how much I am enjoying learning and trying to understand the world.


And as I've probably mentioned before, if he can find a way to write a flippin book before going to "work" in the morning I really just need to get it together with my shit.

The Foreign Minister telling us about Norway's foreign policy.

Badminton Radio!

So I didn't make it to Badminton this year either.

Such a shame really as it is the absolute highlight of the eventing season. Must be more than 5 years now since the last time I went.

But you can imagine my joy when I realized that I could listen to Badminton Radio online. And to make it even greater they had Pammy Hutton and Carl Hester commentating the dressage all day.

Carl Hester is my all time favourite dressage rider and the only man to have kept his position on my nightstand for pretty much the last ten years. It's got to be said though that it is of course mainly due to the fact that he is riding my darling Laska in the picture. For obvious reasons he is not really the type to fancy, unless you are a boy of course. But truth be told I did for a little while sort of secretly hope that his former boyfriend might think better of it and decide he wanted to marry me instead. Luckily I was intelligent enough to understand that I didn't stand a hope in hell there...

Due to his brilliance in the saddle and extremely witty demeanour Carl has become somewhat of a dressage superstar in the UK. And listening to him today I remembered why.

Needless to say I decided to opt for home office today. I put the financial crisis and economic growth related issues to the side for a few hours and got a lot of other much needed stuff done whilst getting a much needed dosage of Carl's brilliance coming out of my very own computer.

Besides he and Pammy are a hilarious combination.

It was good to listen to someone like him who makes it all sound so easy. When I did my theory lecture on competing with the girls from the riding club this afternoon I felt really inspired.

Hopefully some of it rubbed off on them because they are competing this weekend, and truth be told they are in need of a bit of a miracle...

Mexican week...

I'm sure the canteen staff at the university regretted having picked just last week for a Mexican theme.

I certainly regretted walking all the way up there to be met by a sorry looking buffet with a serious image problem. So I eventually settled for a cup of coffee back at the Economics building instead.

Haven't had time to check what they're doing this week yet, but have a feeling it won't be pork...

On the Mend

After a few days on antibiotics and a few days of bandaging the leg was starting to look good and he was starting to stand still whilst being treated.


On Sunday I could clean it and replace the bandage without anyone holding him - without any protests.


He even did some posing for the camera afterwards...

What's Love Got to Do With It?!

I really don't know anymore. I wish I did, but I don't. What I do know though is that you've got to love Tina.

She was simply the best!!

Poor Pony

It doesn't happen very often, but when her name comes up on my phone my heart always sinks.

"Your horse has got a cut," she said.

"Ok," I said calmly, picturing the gashing wound one of the mares had got the other week when I happened to pop by.

"It is only small," she continued.

"Ok"

"And it is above the fetlock so not really in a difficult place, but the leg has filled quite a lot so I think we need to do something about it."

Right, not the end of the world then. But enough to have me stocking up on various first aid items, hibi scrub, animalintex and vet wrap and going out there today to see the patient myself.

As expected he was being looked after excellently and was sun bathing with his pals in the lovely spring weather. Getting his first ever bandage on had been a little bit of a drama, but I doubt he'll be particularly traumatized....

Nice blue bandage matching the headcollar, that's my boy!

Smelly Shoes

It was one of those mornings when things went a bit fast and I found myself rushing into Uni with a random collection of books half sticking out of my backpack, crispbread breakfast in hand and what is probably best described as interesting hair.

But the worst thing was that I for once had put on my Cat shoes totally forgetting that I had used them in the stables the day before. So I spent the rest of the morning worrying about whether anyone could smell it whilst we were working on a micro group assignment.

At lunchtime I realised my worry was probably a little unfounded. Suddenly a whole group of students entered the canteen and the smell of farmyard animals practically hit us in the face.

Down at the Department of Economics building I almost forget that we are actually at the University of Life Sciences.

I felt like a total hypocrite when I suggested we’d move to get away from the smell...

Delightful Danes

You know you are in Denmark when within two minutes upon entering the indoor school you are offered a beer from a stack in the corner - and it’s not even mid-day yet.

Then when you politely decline they just shake their heads in disbelief.

Oh, you’ve just got to love the Danes.

Stallions and Stimuli Packages

After a weekend watching stallions from early dawn to late at night at what is best described as a complete breeding bonanza, it was kind of contrast filled to return to Oslo on Sunday night and have to sit down and finish an assignment on the possible effects of the US stimuli package.

Herning was absolutely fantastic. It was my first time and I was utterly impressed. And slightly lost at times I have to admit, due to the sheer size of it all. But it was utterly inspiring to see so many nice horses and good riders showing off. It made me want to get back in the game so to speak.

But after four hours sleep and a couple of cups of coffee I was getting stuck back into macroeconomic models and how to tackle the financial crisis. And although I clearly was desperate for some sleep I was rather enjoying it.

Almost as much as I enjoyed watching the Grand Prix kür in Herning on Saturday. And that is my problem. One is not enough. In the last three weeks since I have been back to school so to speak I have been walking around with a great big smile on my face. Yes I am desperately behind schedule because I had to work my notice before joining and it is kind of stressful to have literally thousands of pages to go through in just a few weeks, but I love it. I love learning how the world works. And I really enjoyed trying to figure out whether the US stimuli package was a good idea or not.

So although I have been feeling worryingly stressed in the last few weeks I have decided to try and focus on the good stuff. The fact that I am allowed to do the two things I really enjoy: Learn and write. And try to make the most of it.

There will be plenty of time to worry about the fact that I don’t have a job and don’t exactly seem to be attracting anything with even remotely boyfriend potential.

Sitting outside in the sun today with a cup of coffee and a paper on foreign aid and growth it really didn’t matter.

Life is kind of good.

Lost

So I had of course forgotten to bring my calendar with me and was desperately trying to remember what room I was in last time - or floor for that matter. I though it had to be the third floor for some reason and in the end I just went for a door that felt right.

The minute I had opened it it stopped feeling right. Because right there was a whole class of students looking straight at me. And what I assumed was the lecturer was in fact pointing straight at me. I just looked at him rather paralyzed before I realised the door was right next to the blackboard due to a slightly unorthodox set up of the room. So I immediately started apologizing as I was pretty sure it wasn't where I was supposed to be. Looking at me was a group of blokes who looked incredibly bored.

"I'm ever so sorry for interupting. Sorry," I said looking at the lecturer.
"I must be in the wrong place."
"Maybe you're not," replied the strange looking man as if he could do with another student or something. This threw me a bit as it was so obviously wrong, but I politely said:

"What class is this then?"
"Aquaculture," he said as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

So I was right then - it was wrong. Totally wrong. After quickly reversing out the door apologising perfusively I quietly closed the door. Looking down the hallway I swore under my breath. I suppose there was only one thing to do -go down to the library and borrow one of the computers to access my electronial diary.Like I did last week.

Maybe week three will be easier...

University

So this is where I'll be spending the next two years. Beautiful place!

There is Probably No God...

In the UK there has been an advertisement campaign for ateism lately that has been getting rather a lot of attention. Buses have been driving around London with big advertisements saying:

"There is probably no God. Now stop worrying and enjoy your life"

When I first read about it I thought it was almst a bit inappropriate. But then when I read an interview with the woman who was behind it all I totally understood where she came from. Because the reason she started the campaign was another bus campaign trying to guilt people into being religious. She was so provoced by this that she started a campaign of her own trying to send a more positive message, hence the stop worrying and start enjoying your life bit.

When it comes religion and faith I don't really know where to define myself, although I am definitely on the wrong path by many people's definitions I'm sure. And they may fine well be right, but all I know is that I am very relaxed about it and I like to think that I live my life in keeping with a lot of Christian values.

And I register that I have actually been to church more times in the last year than for a very long time. Mainly for weddings and concerts though. Sunday mornings are to me either for catching up on much needed sleep or for riding Richie. But I have found that I have really enjoyed it. Sitting in the big cathedral has balanced me in a funny way. It has helped filter out the crap that I normally spend time worrying about.

Before Christmas I went for a special evening service in connection with the introduction of the ban on cluster munitions and sat there in the cathedral I couldn't help but think that maybe we were all part of something bigger after all. And that maybe religion could actually be something to unite people instead of causing conflict. If it was only used right.

So when I read about the bus adds it made me think of something I heard a religious pop artist say once -not the religious super star kind - but a local singer who is also a priest.

"A church that is about making people feel guilty is a church I don't want anything to do with."

I still don't know what I believe in, but I know this much: There is so much destruction and suffering in this world that if people need something to worry about they should worry about that instead. So here's my take on it:

"There is probably no God, but there is no harm in believing so - if it makes you a better person."

And that is why I am not in advertising.

The Picture

It is my last day at work and as I sit here in my last lunch break I feel a few words are in order. I could go on at length about the war, how much I have learnt about a different culture, the many funny misunderstandings and the sometimes particularly undiplomatic behaviour of some of my colleagues in the last three years.

But I won't. The colleagues in question are long gone and already posted in some other country where they are hopefully picking up some much needed people skills, the misunderstandings are not as funny when you aren't there and know the people, I will do a bigger peace on the culture clash at some point in some shape or form and when it comes to the war I don't know what to say anymore. The strange thing is that the more I read about it the more difficult it is to say anything that makes sense.

I spent last night reading a book by a man who has spent most of his adult life there working on various development projects and the only thing he could really come up with regarding the future of the country he knows so well was that there is always hope.

I agree with him of course. But I find it hard to believe that the many people affected by this awful long lasting war do. And how do you take it from hope to actual peace?

Out of all the destruction I have written about over the last three years there are two incidents that I will never forget. One is the editorial "And Then They Came for Me" written by editor Lasantha Wickremasinghe where he predicts his own death, printed in The Sunday Island a few days after he was gunned down on his way to work. The other is a picture of a grieving woman after her husband was killed in a blast in Colombo.

This particular picture was printed in one of the largest newspapers here over two years ago and when I first saw it I actually nearly cried. Since then I have found myself thinking about it every now and again. So the other day I decided to try and find it. I couldn't really remember all the details surrounding the incident. Only that it involved a suicide bomb and that the person it was intended for, probably some politician or army person, survived, but that about ten security people were killed. One of them was this woman's husband.

Was it the blast where a politician lost both his leg? The woman who blew herself up inside a public office? Or what about the guy that was killed by a pregnant suicide bomber? Or maybe the attack inside the security zone a while back?

In the end I decided to just do a search for Suicide attack + Sri Lanka. And after working my way back through the many bombs over the last two years I found it. I'm sure the original picture wasn't cropped quite that much and that it was even more effectful as you could see how the poor woman was staggering down the street. But really the composition isn't the most important aspect of this picture. It is the grief.

And if her grief can make such an impact on me, what does it do to her country?

Check This Guy Out...

So cute, but so useless bless him... You've got to love his hair though!

Valentine? What Valentine?

Being someone who has only every experienced one Valentines Day that was even remotely memorable, there is a certain risk of sounding slightly bitter when trying to write about it. But I am of course going to anyway.

But don't worry, I won't launch into a 3000 word long painful description of my resentment of love in general or cursing anyone that's not equally single.

I will just stick to outlining five possible approaches to Valentines Day - and reval how I intend to handle it this year.

1. Buying presents and planning a romantic evening with a special someone.
2. Wallowing in self-pity and getting worryingly drunk on cheap wine in a very dark room.
3. Taking a clear stand against what is just a commercial American made up load of crap - and we all know how we feel about that lot anyway - desperately trying to hide the bitter undertone.
4. Trying to date some other equally unloved person and when it turns out far from romantic - emptying the bar at the nearest club.
5. Pretending like it doesn't exist.

As temping as it is to get all shitty and try to be witty about it, or analyse why the universe seems to think I'm better off on my own, I will stick firmly to approach number 5.

So far 2009 has felt like a fresh start. I've found my footing again, I'm about to change the direction of my life and I feel surprisingly upbeat about the future. And I am not going to let 14th of February change that. In the same way as I won't let the 16th or 20th. It is just another day, and I intend to spend it xc skiing with my best friend.

Have a lovely day!

Boys Will Be Boys

The boys are getting bigger and stronger by the day and spend their time eating, sleeping and playing. Not quite sure who won, but it was definitely José picking a fight...

The Tip of the Iceberg

So I write a lot. In the past I have only published the odd thing here on the blog, the majority of the stuff I produce remains in the drawer never to be seen by anyone. Which is fine. Or actually for the best come to think of it.

The one time I did share some of the more personal stuff I had written it didn't go down too well at all, in fact I am sure it was partially to blame for the end of that relationship. Which is ironic really when you take into consideration that actually sharing it was a massive act of trust and love on my part. But then that's another story altogether.

This blog started as a kind of writing practise for me. More than anything it was an attempt to structure some of the stuff I write enough for me to be able to regard it as finished. Published and over and done with. Because due to a bit of performance anxiety and a girlish tendency towards perfectionism I found that I actually never finished any of the stuff I wrote.

Because when you think about it, there is of course always room for improvement when you write something. I'm the only one stopping it from being really good - or even brilliant. It is all down to me and what I manage to squeeze out. But then again if I am ever to write anything even close to good I need to practise, and I need to be able to structure things and actually finish it. So that is what I have been trying to do here.

And although you could of course question the quality of it, I am convinced it has come in really handy with the breeding website I started with a friend last year. Now I write all the time. I publish something almost every day - almost without loosing sleep over it.

In fact I almost feel bad when I spend time writing rubbish to just post here. But I have decided to keep doing it anyway. As practice, and because I quite enjoy it. And because on the odd occasion when I do feel like I've written something that is acceptable and I go back and read it again months later only to think - well, that was quite neat - it is really worth it!

And then the rest of the time it will just have to be what it is - a silly blog...

The Important People

And then he was gone. Not for good, but far enough away to rule out spontaneous Friday nights over a couple of bottles of wine or lazy Sunday's watching stallion videos or Tina T on You Tube.

Thank goodness I've still got Kris or I would have seriously had to consider looking for a man in my life or something. The two boys have worked as perfect substitutes for the last year. In fact I wouldn't have had it any other way! The three of us have been such a good little group it feels very wrong for it to change.

But I realised the other week that from a potential new man point of view it really hasn't been helping me to go everywhere accompanied by two men. Because people seem to assume that I am together with one or the other. Or both in fact. I hadn't really thought about it like that at all until I three weekends in a row was asked about my boyfriend.

What boyfriend? Have I missed something here?! Isn't it obvious to everyone that in the event of any of us hooking up it is a lot more likely to be the two of them. Clearly not... So upon reflection that might be why I haven't attraced much male attention lately. Well, I like to think of it that way anyway.

But now things will be different. There are changes all around at the moment in fact - like there should be I suppose. So I keep reminding myself that some of my best friends are a lot further away than he is going to be. And that it really hasn't changed a thing. The special people will still be special despite the distance. I am going to miss him a lot, and so will Kris, but we will just have to get on with it.

There are great things in the making I'm sure, but to get there we all need to make some decisions and dare loose our footing for a while. I've finally managed to throw myself into things big time again, and now that I'm getting my head around it I am convinced it is for the best. And I wouldn't want anything less for my two best friends! How did Kyra put it the other week:

“If you always do what you always did, you’ll always get what you always got.”

And we wouldn't want that.

Cavallos & the Recession

Despite my degree I'm not going to attempt to define whether the country is at the brink of recession or not, but one thing I know...

You don't normally get 3 pairs of Cavallos for the price of 1.

But whatever it is called - I love it!!

The World's Best Trainer

There is no doubt in my mind that Kyra is the number one dressage trainer in the world. I've seen a lot of clinics over the years with famous trainers and it has been both interesting and educational. But nothing like Kyra.

So simple, so thorough, so brilliant.

I Feel Your Pain...

But don't you dare come here and threaten me! I am very aware that there is an awful war going on and we all wish it would end. But you are not going to help matters by blowing up my workplace!

And as for your daughter - I'm sure she would prefer to grow up with a father who has the brains to understand that this has to be solved in a peaceful manner. Not through more violence.

And if you for a second think any of us have any influence on the President, you need to think again.

You know better really.

Back on Richie

What better way to spend a Sunday morning than riding Richie? It was in fact nearly a year since the last time I sat on him now I think - so it was about time.

I have to admit I wasn't quite sure what to expect, but to put it this way: I stayed on the water last night. I didn't want the odds to be too uneven.

But then it turned out I had nothing to worry about and it all went surprisingly well - expecially since I have hardly been riding lately. He was bit reluctant to play dressage of course, but then that was to be expected. All in all I was only subjected to a few half-hearted bucking attempts in the end.

The thing is though, if I know him right he will save his energy to when I start relaxing and get a bit careless -or have a killer hangover.

So looks like I'll have to schedule some quiet Saturdays in the next few weeks...

Trying to get out of it...

But I normally get my way in the end...

Alternative Careers

Recent developments have led me to conclude that it is time to do something new. And yes, I know I've been talking about it for some time now, but now I think I have got the necessary kick up the backside. I'm not the most impulsive of people and normally need some time to get my head around all things new. When it comes to my job situation I suppose it could be argued that my head seems to be rather stuck though. But I am doing something about it now. Really!

So the question is: What next?!

There is the obvious journalism track of course. But considering I have already established several years ago that I don't thrive on running after fire engines, interviewing people with six toes on their left foot or celebrities about their preferred contraception method I have sort of put that on hold for now. Besides there's always the breeding website now keeping me writing more than enough. But until that makes me enough money to quit my day job, which most likely won't be soon, I've got to find something to live off.

If I could find a way of going back into horses that would make me a decent amount of money and not mean working 24/7 every day of the week I would of course do that in an instant. But then that is even more unlikely.

As for other talents I am quite efficient with a broom, I can easily talk for hours and I somehow seemed to have the ability to scare the living daylights out of my WP's back in the day. Well, the more useless ones anyway - the good ones didn't need scaring. So that could make me a pretty good....hmm, well witch I suppose. Not quite what I was thinking of. And I did spend one night in a burger van once. But let's forget about that.

Back in the summer I learnt that in my younger days I had in fact been only a phone call away from a career in breecher modeling. Ha, this is the girl who has always hated her legs and then it turns out they were actually considered suitable for showing off Pikeurs or Cavallos! Damn you Kevin for not picking up the phone! If I didn't consider it to be excruciatingly funny I think I might have never forgive you for that.

But dwelling on my lost leg modeling career anno 1999 isn't really going to get me anywhere. The real problem is that I don't really know what I want yet. All I know is that it is extremely unlikely to have anything to do with my legs...

Would you buy these breechers? Well, I did and they are very good indeed.... Hmmm, I'm sure I wouldn't have had to actually write the add. Surely they'd have people for that sort of thing...

To 2009!

It was one of those nights when the wine was good, the company just right and outside the snow made it tempting to just stay put.

Still early on in the new year, with barely half of January behind us it would be easy to sink into the semi-depression that normally comes this time of year. The tiredness and the brutal harshness of returning to everyday life after two weeks excesses over Christmas can easily be a bit much in a month that is so easily reduced to just winching and longing for the blessed summer season.

But this night was different. This January evening was good. The two of us by the dining table in the small cave-like flat. Content after consuming what has to be considered one of our better cooking efforts. My more professional friends would hardly have been impressed, but considering we both suffered from a mild degree of kitchen phobia it was pretty good.

Gone for a few blessed hours were the worries over loved ones in hospital, possible effects of the financial crisis and all that stupid unimportant clutter that has a tendency to gather up throughout the week. It all seemed so clear and hopeful. Each sip of wine from the glass causing more excitement and plans for the future.

But it wasn’t just the alcohol getting to us or Pierce Brosnan singing ABBA on the stereo. There was something else to. As if we had both all of a sudden shaken off something old and were ready for something new. Not necessarily a job or man or hairstyle. It went deeper than that. 2008 had not been an easy year, but it had done the job. Served a purpose. Got rid of old crap and cleared the road for 2009.

There were so many things we could do. We were in fact two super troupers waiting to take on the world. Or at least finding our place in it.

We didn’t need a Greek island, eternal youth or all the answers - we were quite happy here with our Irish coffee and Norwegian winter.

2009 certainly wasn’t going to be perfect, but it felt like things were going to fall a bit more into place.

What Not to Buy...

Before Christmas Caitlin Moran wrote a very funny list of what to absolutely not buy her for Christmas. Although I am not one for throwing tantrums, and especially not over gifts, I am totally with her on the food and joke presents at least - when it comes to perfume I haven't objected to the ones I've been given yet, but then that might be because I've been particularly lucky with the people buying it for me.

But I do know that a friend of me wasn't. One of her ex-boyfriends once got her the Jay-Lo perfume for her birthday - and if that had been me I think I might have struggled to avoid causing a scene. What makes a man even begin to think that any female would want to use a perfume that comes out of a bottle shaped as Jay-Lo's arse?! I have a real problem with these celebrity scents on the whole - don't even get me started on Britney - and can't see how they sell to anyone over the age of 14.

But luckily I didn't get any bottled up Jay-Lo or Victoria Beckham under my tree this year. I didn't even get the customary chocolates, and was in fact very happy with this years celebration including presents and all. Well, until today when I looked a little bit closer at the nice handcream I was given.
Because right there below the fancy product name, it clearly says - in French and English to add to the insult - Age Delaying Hand & Nail Treatment!

How rude is that! So does this mean I have very old looking hands? Because why would anyone in their right mind give away something like that? Unless of course this particular person, who shall not be named, has read my blog -and is simply worried I'll end up like our friend the Siberian coalminer...

Still, if you do read this, it clearly comes into the category of things I might need, but don't - I repeat - don't want to be given!

Love at First Sight

This horse I just love. There is just something about him. I first saw him back in the autumn at a show and fell for him instantly. Then I went to see the owners today and take some pictures - And he turned out to be even more stunning than I remembered.

The day I manage to breed something like him I will be a very happy woman indeed. So you best eat your vegetables Romantico, if you're gonna stand any chance of turning out even a little bit like this...

Early Morning

2008

I'm not a big fan of memes but one of my favorite bloggers has done this one - and did it so nicely I felt like doing it too. He calls his year a milestone and the main reason being that he loved, lost and got a whole new perspective on life. Reading about his pain takes me back to 2007, the year I realised what love was all about.

2008 has not been a milestone year for me, it has been about healing. About trying to reset my life to what it was like before -single and fairly content with the situation. Only slight trouble is that now I know what I am missing.

...And This Year I...

- eventually stopped crying
- started to heal
- couldn't decide what to do next
- didn't move
- started a company with a friend
- stayed in my job
- practically went off alcohol
- spent a lot of time with good friends
- wrote a lot
- understood why I was dumped
- decided that it was okay to be miserable sometimes
- conquered the silence
- believed in something
- voluntarily put myself up for rejection once more
- realised that what's a big deal to me isn't necessarily so to others
- dealt with some issues
- wore a swimsuit for the first time in 15 years
- got better at separating what's important from what is certainly not worth the fretting
- learned to really talk about my feelings
- tried to forgive myself for a lot of things
- decided that it's okay to not be perfect, it's not like I have much choice at the end of the day
- was toastmaster at a friends wedding - and really enjoyed it
- didn't find a man I could love who could love me back, but there's always next year right?

And although it might not seem like I did get a lot done in the last year and I certainly didn't get my happy ending, I think I am a better person for it.

Happy New Year!

Horse Shopping?!

I'll just have two of that one I think... Does it come in brown?